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Situational Phobias

Zelophobia – Fear of Jealousy

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Don’t Envy Those with a Fear of Jealousy

Have you ever felt sick to your stomach when your partner is interested in someone else? Does the mere thought of feeling jealous throw you into a state of panic? Do you avoid forming close relationships to avoid jealousy?

If you answered yes, you may have zelophobia or the fear of jealousy.

Now, why is the fear of jealousy called zelophobia? Well, the word is derived from the Greek word for jealousy — zelo.

It is natural to feel jealous from time to time, but when this feeling becomes overwhelming and begins to impact your relationships, it can turn into a crippling phobia. Zelophobia can cause intense anxiety and emotional discomfort, making daily life challenging.

If you’re suffering from this condition, it’s important to know that help is available. And with some time, patience, and the right treatment, you can conquer your phobia of jealousy.

What Is Zelophobia?

Among all the different kinds of phobias, zelophobia may not sound serious or even real. But it is a valid phobia that can have significant consequences on one’s quality of life.

Fear can be irrational and all-consuming, just like jealousy. So, if you ever find yourself feeling anxious or distressed at the thought of someone else getting too close to your loved ones, consider the possibility of zelophobia.

Zelophobia can cause you to feel like you’re not good enough and that you’ll never measure up to others. You may constantly question your significant other’s relationships with other people and begin to feel paranoid.

If left untreated, zelophobia can harm your self-worth and self-esteem.

Thankfully, there are ways to overcome it.

 

Zelophobia Causes

It’s common and normal to feel jealous when your partner talks to someone of the opposite sex, or when your best friend hangs out with someone else. However, when this feeling becomes irrational and persistent, it may escalate and turn into a phobia.

Some people develop zelophobia due to past experiences, such as being cheated on or betrayed by someone they loved. Traumatic experiences like this can create a deep-rooted fear of jealousy that can be difficult to shake off.

Others may have had a controlling or possessive partner or parent who made them feel that their jealousy was justified. In some cases, zelophobia can also be a learned behavior where individuals have seen someone close to them struggling with this feeling.

 

Symptoms of Zelophobia

The symptoms of zelophobia can vary from one person to another. Some individuals may experience only a few symptoms, while others may react more severely.

Here are some of the most common symptoms of zelophobia:

Physical Symptoms

  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Sweating
  • Trembling or shaking
  • Feeling dizzy or lightheaded
  • Shortness of breath
  • Nausea or upset stomach

Psychological Symptoms

  • Intense anxiety
  • Fear of abandonment
  • Feeling insecure or inadequate
  • Anger or resentment toward others
  • Thoughts of hurting oneself or others
  • Avoiding social situations
  • Fear of losing control
  • Fear of feeling helpless

A person suffering from zelophobia may experience some of these symptoms simultaneously or, in extreme cases, may even experience all of them.

 

Zelophobia Treatment

Self-Help Options

Zelophobia, or the fear of jealousy, can be tough to handle. And while seeking professional treatment is the most effective way to deal with this phobia, there are also several self-help methods that can help you deal with this fear.

First and foremost, practice self-compassion. Remember, it’s okay to feel jealous sometimes. You’re human, not a robot. Treat yourself like you would treat your close friend — with kindness and support.

Don’t let the green-eyed monster control your thoughts. When you start thinking negative thoughts, reframe them into something more positive. Instead of thinking “I’ll never be as good as them,” try thinking “I’m doing my best and that’s pretty awesome.”

And if that doesn’t work, practice mindfulness. When jealousy hits, take some deep breaths and focus on how your body feels. Take a break, do some yoga, or just sit in silence for a few minutes.

Zelophobia may feel difficult to overcome. But with the right self-help approaches, the fear may be managed and minimized.

 

Professional Help

Those who struggle with zelophobia have several options for seeking professional help. There are two types of therapy in particular that are known to be effective when dealing with phobias: cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and exposure therapy.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a widely used technique for treating phobias, including zelophobia. A trained therapist will help identify your fears and triggers. They will also teach you to perceive the phobia for what it truly is — an irrational fear. By addressing the root cause of your irrational jealousy, CBT can help you manage your triggers more effectively.

Exposure Therapy

Exposure therapy involves progressively exposing you to situations and experiences that trigger your phobia in a controlled environment. The goal is to gradually desensitize you to the things that make you jealous and anxious, enabling you to control your fear more successfully. Under the guidance of a trained therapist, exposure therapy can be an effective method for overcoming zelophobia.

Whether you choose CBT or exposure therapy, taking a proactive approach to your zelophobia can help you manage your fear and lead a happier, more fulfilling life.

 

How to Cope with Zelophobia

When you have to deal with a phobia throughout your life, it’s important to find ways to manage the fear.

Identify your triggers. Think about the things that make you feel like you’re at the bottom of the jealousy pile. Is it social media or finding out about someone else’s achievements? Once you know what triggers your jealousy, you can either avoid those triggers or find a way to deal with them.

But more importantly, focus on being thankful. Practice gratitude. Find something positive in your life each day, no matter how small.

 

Conclusion

Don’t let your fear of jealousy hold you back from experiencing all that life has to offer. Seek help from a professional if necessary, and remember that you are not alone in your struggle.

By acknowledging and addressing your fears, you can learn to manage and eventually completely overcome this irrational phobia.

FearAZ.com is looking for personal stories of any 'fear of' or phobia. If you have an interesting story you'd like to share, we welcome your submission. If the story fits with our content and guidelines, we'll add it to our site.
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Your Fear Goes Up and Down

Are you someone who would rather climb the stairs than take the elevator? You call it squeezing in a workout after being sedentary the whole morning. Or perhaps you claim it's a faster route. These are both typical, normal, and acceptable reasons. But what if you need to be in the conference room on the eleventh floor in five minutes, and you're wearing your business suit and wingtips? Would you still prefer to take the stairs? If your answer is yes, then maybe it's time to take a closer look at your reasons for avoiding elevators. Elevators stir all sorts of emotions in passengers. From the discomfort of closeness to strangers to the sensations in our gut, elevators can be a source of the heebie-jeebies for many, but for some, they can also be a source of terror. Let's dig a little deeper into the latter, and see what this terror is all about and what can be done to manage it. To begin with, does being inside an elevator give you chills or the sweats? Or does it trigger an unpleasant memory? Perhaps you remember movies you've watched where something terrible happens inside an elevator. From Silence of the Lambs, The Shining, Final Destination 2, or the king of all elevator horror films, 2010’s Devil, the elevator becomes witness to something sinister and horrible. And you want nothing to do with any of it. You know that you're not claustrophobic. You can deal with heights just fine, too. And you know that you're not going to be trapped inside. All of these contribute to a fear of elevators—but they don't apply to you. Yet being inside one does something to you. It's hard to explain.

What is the Fear of Elevators Called?

What you have is a fear of elevators, which is called elevatophobia. It is most commonly triggered by an experience of getting stuck inside either due to a power outage or technical maintenance. Hearing about other people's experiences or watching a movie about similar circumstances can prompt a fear of elevators getting stuck with you inside. Usually, claustrophobics and agoraphobics may also develop elevatophobia because the triggers and objects of these fears are related. Claustrophobia is the fear of closed and cramped spaces, while agoraphobia is the fear of being trapped without any means of escape. Put the two together, and the elevator becomes the perfect combination of both phobias. The space is limited and closed, with only one means of entry and exit. You can add another point of access if you consider climbing the cables like they do in the movies, but that certainly isn't ideal.

Symptoms of Elevatophobia

If for some reason an elevator stops due to an outage or some technical difficulty, passengers with elevatophobia may go into full panic mode. Even if the maintenance team advises that it will just be a matter of minutes, by then, the person's mind has become irrational with the fear of the elevator falling, being stuck for hours, or other unpleasant thoughts. You would expect a person to exhibit the following physical symptoms: Additionally, you would be filled with that overwhelming anxiety where you feel that you have zero control over the situation. You start fearing the unknown and are filled with negative thoughts about death and imminent doom. You become irrational and unresponsive.

Possible Complications of Elevatophobia

When the panic sets in, the possibility of emergencies related to pre-existing conditions may make themselves known. This might include serious health crises like heart attacks or asthma attacks. When this happens, fear becomes a medical emergency. Elevator rides do not last long; it's just a matter of minutes or even less. But the fact that a person can escalate from panic to a near fatal medical situation classifies the fear of elevators as a 'hard phobia.'

Trying Some Self-Help Methods

Your fear of elevators can likely interfere with your social and work life and relationships. Not everyone understands that elevatophobia, like most phobias, can be crippling. But don't be disheartened. Depending on the level of your fear and level of control, you can gradually face and manage your phobia. Here are some recommendations you can try:
  1. Make a List of Everything that Entails Riding in an Elevator This is a systematic approach to getting over your anxiety. By following a step-by-step process, you can identify where the fear kicks in at its strongest. You can write a list of steps like pressing the topmost button and waiting to arrive on that floor, watching as the door closes and opens, being alone inside the elevator, or having delays with the doors opening. Now try doing the opposite. For example, face away from the door or occupy yourself with your phone so that you are distracted.
  2. Create Your Fear Ladder Although the name says fear of elevators, it is not the whole process that scares you. There are just phases and parts of the elevator riding experience that cause you to panic. So go back to the list you initially created and label the fear level you feel. You can do it numerically, too, like ten being 'really scary,' six, 'manageable scary,' and one, 'not scary at all.' You can put the corresponding fear levels so you can focus more time and effort into activities that are more scary to you.
  3. Face Your Fear By now, you have identified what scares you the most. You can try repetitive action to minimize your fear and increase your sense of ‘normalcy’. Remember that the longer you expose yourself to your fear, the better you get at handling your emotions. If you are feeling overwhelmed, stop. Pushing yourself too fast and too soon can backfire. Modify your pace and go slower instead.
  4. Talk About Your Fear People by nature, unfortunately, are not quick to offer understanding and support. You need to tell them what's wrong before they can empathize. Talk to someone who you trust and ask for their support, especially in the initial phase of overcoming your fear. If you are too afraid to ride the elevator alone, you can ask them to go with you, and before you realize it, you are on your floor, and there was no indication of panic.
  5. Learn To Be Patient Be patient with yourself and your predicament. This is, after all, your fight against fear. It might take hundreds of elevator ride practices before the fear gets under control. Even then, there might be some hesitations and episodes of nervousness. These are acceptable and expected, so cut yourself some slack and congratulate yourself for every progress.

Seeking Professional Help

Along with self-help, you can always enlist a medical professional's aid to support you with your elevatophobia. Talking to someone who has experience with similar cases can be comforting, because you know that you are not alone, and this situation can get better. Talk to your doctor about the severity of your fears and the symptoms that you experience. Explain how you deal with it in an attempt to control it. An exam and a health history are made to ensure that there are no unrelated or underlying problems that your symptoms might mask. Usually, phobias like this are approached with a combination of psychotherapy and medication. Your doctor will talk about these options with you, and it's entirely up to you, with your doctor's recommendation, what you want to pursue. For psychotherapy, the most common type is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which aims to help you find different ways of behaving, thinking, and reacting when about to step inside an elevator or when already inside it. With medications, there are beta blockers and benzodiazepines, but note that these can have side effects. Whatever these side effects are, you should promptly share it with your doctor.

Simple Tips to Overcome Elevatophobia

Elevators are not perfect, but their likelihood to malfunction, fall, or get stuck is very low. If you are not fully confident with this information, you can help overcome your elevatophobia by learning common elevator safety tips and basic elevator operations. These should help curb your mild fear until you become more self-assured. In addition to that, here are some of the things that you can do to gradually overcome your fear of elevators—both in getting on and riding one.

Conclusion

Yes, elevatophobia can be a challenge in today's world, but don't allow the elevator to win. Don't let it stop you from taking a job on the top floor or attending a social gathering on the rooftop. Sure, you can take the stairs if you insist and arrive winded and sweaty, with the party about to wrap up. But is this the quality of life you seek? Elevators are designed to make life easier. There are guaranteed ways to help you overcome elevatophobia. Take the first step and seek help. Soon, you’ll see yourself breezing through the floors with those arduous stair climbs little more than a memory.
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