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Situational Phobias

Autophobia – Fear of Exclusion

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Fear of Exclusion

Remember when third grader Eliana didn’t invite you to her tenth birthday party, even though she invited everyone else in the class? Young as you were, you were most likely left with a feeling of dejection and not being wanted.

Believe it or not, you probably carried that weight for most of your life, even into adulthood. Now you may find that you’re constantly suspecting your friends of excluding you from things or talking behind your back. Sure, you have a great group of caring friends, but you can’t shake this feeling that they might wake up one day and decide they just don’t want you around anymore.

Take work for instance, when you found out the whole team went to Ziggy’s to celebrate that new lead, you curled up in your room all night crying—even though a part of you knew the only reason you were not invited was that you were sick that morning.

It sounds like you’ve embarked on a journey of self-sabotage. No matter how many times your friends reassure you that they love you and would never reject you, you’re so convinced it will happen, that you begin to reject them.

You push them away with your insecurities.

This is the perfect example of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What you suffer from is known as the fear of exclusion, also called autophobia. It is what makes you panic at the thought of being isolated or excluded from people.

To understand this better, you first need to learn the meaning, source, and symptoms of autophobia.

The Fear of Exclusion Explained

The fear of exclusion, or autophobia is an intense, irrational fear of being left out, alone, or isolated. This goes beyond the physical context.

A person suffering from autophobia dreads any form of exclusion or isolation from social circles and manifests very unhealthy symptoms as a result. The autophobic person cannot function outside of being a part of a group or inner circle. They base their value and sense of worth on how much people like them and want them around.

Autophobia is not to be mistaken for being extroverted; however, extroverts are more susceptible to this disorder than their counterparts. Any suggestion of rejection, or not being needed or wanted, provides an existential crisis for the autophobic.

Normal people might feel bad about rejection, but those with a phobia see it as a reflection of their value and self-worth.

Autophobia comes as a result of a person’s inability to deal with the resultant feelings of undesirability and personal deficiency that being excluded springs upon you. It’s not that the sufferer cannot do things alone. It’s that they see isolation to mean that others do not want them; therefore, they are lacking something.

Take note that humans in general, introverted or not, love to feel desired and to belong. It is a basic human need. The abnormality comes when not getting your desired inclusion causes you to exhibit signs of a panic attack, depression, and even suicidal tendencies.

Symptoms of Autophobia

The following symptoms are a result of some of the intense emotional reactions that sufferers of autophobia exhibit:

  • Insomnia
  • Withdrawal
  • Anxiety
  • Panic attacks
  • Highly volatile emotions
  • Depression
  • Suicidal tendencies
  • Moodiness
  • Hyperventilation
  • Low-self esteem
  • Defensiveness
  • Dizziness
  • Chest pain
  • Heart racing
  • Shortage of breath

What Causes Autophobia?

Like most phobias, autophobia usually comes as a result of incessant rejection and neglect in a person’s formative years.

Children in middle school and high school are known to be naively blunt, shallow, and brutal in their friendship choices. You could be excluded from a friendship group for something as silly as wearing glasses or needing braces.

Autophobics like you and others, internalize this rejection and go on to feel perpetually unwanted all their lives.

Also, you might have developed autophobia as a result of having to be a part of a society that is prejudiced towards a feature you have or an aspect of your personality, such as your gender preference.

Many societies are homophobic, so if you are a gay person, you might find yourself constantly worried about being rejected or excluded for being who you are.

Aside from school, parents and other family members may also be the reason for your phobia. If you grew up around neglectful parents who constantly picked your siblings over you, or made it obvious that they liked you less, your autophobia is certainly not farfetched.

How to Help Yourself with Autophobia

Seeing that your phobia could be a part of a much deeper societal issue like racism or prejudice, getting out of it might be quite a task, but there is hope.

Learning that you are innately valuable and worthy as an individual—and not just as a result of how many social groups you belong to—is not going to be easy, but it is certainly doable.

The following things will certainly make your healing journey less cumbersome:

  • Take a solo trip.
  • Allow yourself to be alone more often.
  • Do yoga and meditation.
  • Avoid caffeine to bring down the stress level.
  • Take solo walks in the park.
  • Go on a date, solo.
  • Practice breathing exercises.
  • Exercise.
  • Write a journal.
  • Talk to someone. Discuss your fear of exclusion with your friends and loved ones. Help them understand what you are going through and how they might help.
  • Point it out if anyone in your cycle or family is doing things that fuel your social exclusion anxiety.
  • Seek out and join a community of people recovering with autophobia.
  • See a therapist or seek counseling.

Autophobia Treatment

Exposure Therapy

The doctor exposes you to your source of anxiety over and again in a controlled environment—in this case, being alone—until it is no longer a dreadful concept for you. The idea is to gradually increase your tolerance levels for the trigger until it no longer poses a threat to your mind or well-being.
Your mind begins to adapt and, finally, you realize that being on your own might not be the existential crises you thought it was.

Medication

Doctors also offer antidepressants, sedatives, and beta-blockers as a means of controlling the symptoms, however short term. Note that drugs are usually only a coping tool in this case, and you will still need to undergo therapy to be fully cured.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

This helps you acknowledge that a majority of the problem is from your mind and how you are used to processing information. It is a faulty mindset that has you hyperventilating just because you were not invited to a party. CBT resets your thinking patterns to give you back control of your mind and emotional reactions.

Conclusion

Following through on these self-help suggestions, as well as seeing a qualified medical expert, would do wonders for your self-esteem and quality of life in general. You are an individual and, as much as we all love to be part of a group, it should not be the foundation of your existence. Remember, Eliana’s tenth birthday was ages ago. You are a grownup now, with lots of grownup birthdays to attend. Besides, whose to say that Eliana didn’t dislike you because your dresses were always fancier, and she didn’t want you stealing the spotlight? Think about it. . .

FearAZ.com is looking for personal stories of any 'fear of' or phobia. If you have an interesting story you'd like to share, we welcome your submission. If the story fits with our content and guidelines, we'll add it to our site.
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Your Fear Goes Up and Down

Are you someone who would rather climb the stairs than take the elevator? You call it squeezing in a workout after being sedentary the whole morning. Or perhaps you claim it's a faster route. These are both typical, normal, and acceptable reasons. But what if you need to be in the conference room on the eleventh floor in five minutes, and you're wearing your business suit and wingtips? Would you still prefer to take the stairs? If your answer is yes, then maybe it's time to take a closer look at your reasons for avoiding elevators. Elevators stir all sorts of emotions in passengers. From the discomfort of closeness to strangers to the sensations in our gut, elevators can be a source of the heebie-jeebies for many, but for some, they can also be a source of terror. Let's dig a little deeper into the latter, and see what this terror is all about and what can be done to manage it. To begin with, does being inside an elevator give you chills or the sweats? Or does it trigger an unpleasant memory? Perhaps you remember movies you've watched where something terrible happens inside an elevator. From Silence of the Lambs, The Shining, Final Destination 2, or the king of all elevator horror films, 2010’s Devil, the elevator becomes witness to something sinister and horrible. And you want nothing to do with any of it. You know that you're not claustrophobic. You can deal with heights just fine, too. And you know that you're not going to be trapped inside. All of these contribute to a fear of elevators—but they don't apply to you. Yet being inside one does something to you. It's hard to explain.

What is the Fear of Elevators Called?

What you have is a fear of elevators, which is called elevatophobia. It is most commonly triggered by an experience of getting stuck inside either due to a power outage or technical maintenance. Hearing about other people's experiences or watching a movie about similar circumstances can prompt a fear of elevators getting stuck with you inside. Usually, claustrophobics and agoraphobics may also develop elevatophobia because the triggers and objects of these fears are related. Claustrophobia is the fear of closed and cramped spaces, while agoraphobia is the fear of being trapped without any means of escape. Put the two together, and the elevator becomes the perfect combination of both phobias. The space is limited and closed, with only one means of entry and exit. You can add another point of access if you consider climbing the cables like they do in the movies, but that certainly isn't ideal.

Symptoms of Elevatophobia

If for some reason an elevator stops due to an outage or some technical difficulty, passengers with elevatophobia may go into full panic mode. Even if the maintenance team advises that it will just be a matter of minutes, by then, the person's mind has become irrational with the fear of the elevator falling, being stuck for hours, or other unpleasant thoughts. You would expect a person to exhibit the following physical symptoms: Additionally, you would be filled with that overwhelming anxiety where you feel that you have zero control over the situation. You start fearing the unknown and are filled with negative thoughts about death and imminent doom. You become irrational and unresponsive.

Possible Complications of Elevatophobia

When the panic sets in, the possibility of emergencies related to pre-existing conditions may make themselves known. This might include serious health crises like heart attacks or asthma attacks. When this happens, fear becomes a medical emergency. Elevator rides do not last long; it's just a matter of minutes or even less. But the fact that a person can escalate from panic to a near fatal medical situation classifies the fear of elevators as a 'hard phobia.'

Trying Some Self-Help Methods

Your fear of elevators can likely interfere with your social and work life and relationships. Not everyone understands that elevatophobia, like most phobias, can be crippling. But don't be disheartened. Depending on the level of your fear and level of control, you can gradually face and manage your phobia. Here are some recommendations you can try:
  1. Make a List of Everything that Entails Riding in an Elevator This is a systematic approach to getting over your anxiety. By following a step-by-step process, you can identify where the fear kicks in at its strongest. You can write a list of steps like pressing the topmost button and waiting to arrive on that floor, watching as the door closes and opens, being alone inside the elevator, or having delays with the doors opening. Now try doing the opposite. For example, face away from the door or occupy yourself with your phone so that you are distracted.
  2. Create Your Fear Ladder Although the name says fear of elevators, it is not the whole process that scares you. There are just phases and parts of the elevator riding experience that cause you to panic. So go back to the list you initially created and label the fear level you feel. You can do it numerically, too, like ten being 'really scary,' six, 'manageable scary,' and one, 'not scary at all.' You can put the corresponding fear levels so you can focus more time and effort into activities that are more scary to you.
  3. Face Your Fear By now, you have identified what scares you the most. You can try repetitive action to minimize your fear and increase your sense of ‘normalcy’. Remember that the longer you expose yourself to your fear, the better you get at handling your emotions. If you are feeling overwhelmed, stop. Pushing yourself too fast and too soon can backfire. Modify your pace and go slower instead.
  4. Talk About Your Fear People by nature, unfortunately, are not quick to offer understanding and support. You need to tell them what's wrong before they can empathize. Talk to someone who you trust and ask for their support, especially in the initial phase of overcoming your fear. If you are too afraid to ride the elevator alone, you can ask them to go with you, and before you realize it, you are on your floor, and there was no indication of panic.
  5. Learn To Be Patient Be patient with yourself and your predicament. This is, after all, your fight against fear. It might take hundreds of elevator ride practices before the fear gets under control. Even then, there might be some hesitations and episodes of nervousness. These are acceptable and expected, so cut yourself some slack and congratulate yourself for every progress.

Seeking Professional Help

Along with self-help, you can always enlist a medical professional's aid to support you with your elevatophobia. Talking to someone who has experience with similar cases can be comforting, because you know that you are not alone, and this situation can get better. Talk to your doctor about the severity of your fears and the symptoms that you experience. Explain how you deal with it in an attempt to control it. An exam and a health history are made to ensure that there are no unrelated or underlying problems that your symptoms might mask. Usually, phobias like this are approached with a combination of psychotherapy and medication. Your doctor will talk about these options with you, and it's entirely up to you, with your doctor's recommendation, what you want to pursue. For psychotherapy, the most common type is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which aims to help you find different ways of behaving, thinking, and reacting when about to step inside an elevator or when already inside it. With medications, there are beta blockers and benzodiazepines, but note that these can have side effects. Whatever these side effects are, you should promptly share it with your doctor.

Simple Tips to Overcome Elevatophobia

Elevators are not perfect, but their likelihood to malfunction, fall, or get stuck is very low. If you are not fully confident with this information, you can help overcome your elevatophobia by learning common elevator safety tips and basic elevator operations. These should help curb your mild fear until you become more self-assured. In addition to that, here are some of the things that you can do to gradually overcome your fear of elevators—both in getting on and riding one.

Conclusion

Yes, elevatophobia can be a challenge in today's world, but don't allow the elevator to win. Don't let it stop you from taking a job on the top floor or attending a social gathering on the rooftop. Sure, you can take the stairs if you insist and arrive winded and sweaty, with the party about to wrap up. But is this the quality of life you seek? Elevators are designed to make life easier. There are guaranteed ways to help you overcome elevatophobia. Take the first step and seek help. Soon, you’ll see yourself breezing through the floors with those arduous stair climbs little more than a memory.
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