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Fear of Losing Loved Ones

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The Excessive Fear of Losing Loved Ones

Do you find yourself avoiding talk of death, making wills, discussing loved ones in the hospital, or anything related to the end of life? Are you constantly worried about losing someone you love? Does the thought of being ill or finding out someone you love is ill send chills down your spine?

If so, you may be dealing with the excessive fear of losing loved ones.

Suffering from this fear means you constantly worry about your well-being or the well-being of loved ones, especially if they are sick or suffering.

Living with such a phobia can be challenging, since you may tend to worry about the smallest things. People suffering from the excessive fear of losing people close to them tend to avoid sharing their feelings. They fear others will assume they’re overthinking or are a worrier.

The good news is that this excessive fear can be treated. So, here’s an in-depth exploration of what this phobia involves and how you can overcome it.

 

What Is the Excessive Fear of Losing Loved Ones?

The fear of losing someone may seem like a normal reaction to death. After all, many of us are concerned about the end of life. However, some people have an exaggerated or excessive fear of losing loved ones. When this fear begins to impact one’s day-to-day life, it becomes a problem.

The constant fear of loved ones dying is a phobia all its own. It’s related to thanatophobia, the fear of death, and is one of the most common among all the phobias. A person suffering from the fear of loved ones dying cannot stop thinking about the finality of death and is constantly worried about the health of loved ones.

Those struggling with this phobia may be reluctant to do activities with high-risk factors such as going to an amusement park, on a hike, or to the beach. Some may even shadow loved ones as a means of protection. Others may experience extreme anxiety about family members dying and may even have panic attacks at the thought of their own death.

This excessive fear may also lead to hypochondriasis, which is a chronic mental illness where the person fears developing a life-threatening illness even though there are no symptoms.

Causes of Excessive Fear of Losing Loved Ones

So, what causes the fear of losing your friends and loved ones? Like all other anxiety-related phobias, the exact cause of this excessive fear is unknown.

However, there are several reasons that may play a part in the development of this phobia.

Childhood Trauma

A childhood experience involving the death of a loved one can cause one to develop a phobia of death. Dealing with the loss of a loved one is never easy, especially at a young age. Such a traumatic experience can make one fragile, both emotionally and mentally. If proper care and attention is not received at this phase, a phobia may develop.

Witnessing someone go through a painful death can also instill a fear of death. It’s natural that a child would not wish the pain of death for themselves or their loved ones.

Role of Religion

A person’s religious beliefs often define how they perceive the end of life. If one believes that their “sins” in this world will condemn them eternally, then they may fear death.

Environment

Phobias can also be a learned behavior. If a person is surrounded by someone who also has the fear of death, they, too, can develop the same or similar phobia.

Genetic Predisposition

Having a genetic history of mental issues, especially anxiety disorders, makes a person more susceptible to developing a phobia. In these cases, the risk is higher since even the slightest cues can lead to the onset of the phobia.

Age and Chronic Illness

Middle-aged people and those suffering from chronic illness are more likely to develop this death phobia. They may witness the death of near-age friends and relatives and may be experiencing pain and suffering themselves due to illness.

 

Excessive Fear Symptoms

A person suffering from the excessive fear of losing loved ones may experience a few or more of the following symptoms.

Physical Symptoms

  • Sweating
  • Increase in blood pressure
  • Shivering
  • Palpitations
  • Increased heart rate
  • Nausea
  • Headache
  • Vomiting
  • Dizziness
  • Shortness of breath

Mental/Emotional Symptoms

  • Anxiety
  • Panic attacks
  • Fearing death
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder
  • Illness anxiety disorder

 

Possible Treatments for Excessive Fear of Losing Loved Ones

Now that we know the causes and symptoms of this excessive fear, let’s learn how to stop thinking about death of loved ones or one’s own mortality.

Like all other anxiety disorders, there is no defined treatment for the fear of losing loved ones. However, there are certain treatment plans you can follow to better cope with your fear or perhaps even overcome it.

Self-Help

Self-help is one of the best ways to deal with fear of losing loved ones. You can try various self-help techniques such as journaling, meditation, exposure therapy, relaxation techniques, exercising, etc. Practicing these techniques can calm you and help you think more rationally.

You can also make a list of all things that concern you, your triggers, stressors, and more. You can also journal your thoughts and  improvements. Additionally, you can learn about death and dying and join support groups that will help you understand your condition better.

Professional Help

Medical practitioners are experts in the field of treating phobias and are better equipped to help you deal with the fear. They can assess your situation accurately and recommend the best treatment plan for you.

Some of the treatment plans a therapist may use are:

  • Talk therapy
  • Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
  • Exposure therapy

Medications

In rare cases, if the patient is having repeated panic attacks and immediate action is needed, the doctor may prescribe antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications. These help reduce the symptoms, but they are not a cure for the phobia itself.

Once the patient is stabilized, a health care professional may discontinue use of medication and rely on other methods of therapy alone.

 

Conclusion

The death of a loved one can cause extreme anxiety, no matter the relationship. People suffering from this phobia can find it difficult to go about their day-to-day lives, which affects their normal functioning in society.

However, with proper care, you can leave behind this fear and live a happy and fulfilling life.

 

 

 

SOURCES:

https://www.verywellhealth.com/thanatophobia-5192097
https://www.verywellmind.com/thanatophobia-2671879#toc-what-does-thanatophobia-feel-like
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22830-thanatophobia-fear-of-death#
https://www.healthline.com/health/thanatophobia#treatment
https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/fear-of-losing-loved-ones.htm
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321939#symptoms-and-diagnosis

 

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Your Fear Goes Up and Down

Are you someone who would rather climb the stairs than take the elevator? You call it squeezing in a workout after being sedentary the whole morning. Or perhaps you claim it's a faster route. These are both typical, normal, and acceptable reasons. But what if you need to be in the conference room on the eleventh floor in five minutes, and you're wearing your business suit and wingtips? Would you still prefer to take the stairs? If your answer is yes, then maybe it's time to take a closer look at your reasons for avoiding elevators. Elevators stir all sorts of emotions in passengers. From the discomfort of closeness to strangers to the sensations in our gut, elevators can be a source of the heebie-jeebies for many, but for some, they can also be a source of terror. Let's dig a little deeper into the latter, and see what this terror is all about and what can be done to manage it. To begin with, does being inside an elevator give you chills or the sweats? Or does it trigger an unpleasant memory? Perhaps you remember movies you've watched where something terrible happens inside an elevator. From Silence of the Lambs, The Shining, Final Destination 2, or the king of all elevator horror films, 2010’s Devil, the elevator becomes witness to something sinister and horrible. And you want nothing to do with any of it. You know that you're not claustrophobic. You can deal with heights just fine, too. And you know that you're not going to be trapped inside. All of these contribute to a fear of elevators—but they don't apply to you. Yet being inside one does something to you. It's hard to explain.

What is the Fear of Elevators Called?

What you have is a fear of elevators, which is called elevatophobia. It is most commonly triggered by an experience of getting stuck inside either due to a power outage or technical maintenance. Hearing about other people's experiences or watching a movie about similar circumstances can prompt a fear of elevators getting stuck with you inside. Usually, claustrophobics and agoraphobics may also develop elevatophobia because the triggers and objects of these fears are related. Claustrophobia is the fear of closed and cramped spaces, while agoraphobia is the fear of being trapped without any means of escape. Put the two together, and the elevator becomes the perfect combination of both phobias. The space is limited and closed, with only one means of entry and exit. You can add another point of access if you consider climbing the cables like they do in the movies, but that certainly isn't ideal.

Symptoms of Elevatophobia

If for some reason an elevator stops due to an outage or some technical difficulty, passengers with elevatophobia may go into full panic mode. Even if the maintenance team advises that it will just be a matter of minutes, by then, the person's mind has become irrational with the fear of the elevator falling, being stuck for hours, or other unpleasant thoughts. You would expect a person to exhibit the following physical symptoms: Additionally, you would be filled with that overwhelming anxiety where you feel that you have zero control over the situation. You start fearing the unknown and are filled with negative thoughts about death and imminent doom. You become irrational and unresponsive.

Possible Complications of Elevatophobia

When the panic sets in, the possibility of emergencies related to pre-existing conditions may make themselves known. This might include serious health crises like heart attacks or asthma attacks. When this happens, fear becomes a medical emergency. Elevator rides do not last long; it's just a matter of minutes or even less. But the fact that a person can escalate from panic to a near fatal medical situation classifies the fear of elevators as a 'hard phobia.'

Trying Some Self-Help Methods

Your fear of elevators can likely interfere with your social and work life and relationships. Not everyone understands that elevatophobia, like most phobias, can be crippling. But don't be disheartened. Depending on the level of your fear and level of control, you can gradually face and manage your phobia. Here are some recommendations you can try:
  1. Make a List of Everything that Entails Riding in an Elevator This is a systematic approach to getting over your anxiety. By following a step-by-step process, you can identify where the fear kicks in at its strongest. You can write a list of steps like pressing the topmost button and waiting to arrive on that floor, watching as the door closes and opens, being alone inside the elevator, or having delays with the doors opening. Now try doing the opposite. For example, face away from the door or occupy yourself with your phone so that you are distracted.
  2. Create Your Fear Ladder Although the name says fear of elevators, it is not the whole process that scares you. There are just phases and parts of the elevator riding experience that cause you to panic. So go back to the list you initially created and label the fear level you feel. You can do it numerically, too, like ten being 'really scary,' six, 'manageable scary,' and one, 'not scary at all.' You can put the corresponding fear levels so you can focus more time and effort into activities that are more scary to you.
  3. Face Your Fear By now, you have identified what scares you the most. You can try repetitive action to minimize your fear and increase your sense of ‘normalcy’. Remember that the longer you expose yourself to your fear, the better you get at handling your emotions. If you are feeling overwhelmed, stop. Pushing yourself too fast and too soon can backfire. Modify your pace and go slower instead.
  4. Talk About Your Fear People by nature, unfortunately, are not quick to offer understanding and support. You need to tell them what's wrong before they can empathize. Talk to someone who you trust and ask for their support, especially in the initial phase of overcoming your fear. If you are too afraid to ride the elevator alone, you can ask them to go with you, and before you realize it, you are on your floor, and there was no indication of panic.
  5. Learn To Be Patient Be patient with yourself and your predicament. This is, after all, your fight against fear. It might take hundreds of elevator ride practices before the fear gets under control. Even then, there might be some hesitations and episodes of nervousness. These are acceptable and expected, so cut yourself some slack and congratulate yourself for every progress.

Seeking Professional Help

Along with self-help, you can always enlist a medical professional's aid to support you with your elevatophobia. Talking to someone who has experience with similar cases can be comforting, because you know that you are not alone, and this situation can get better. Talk to your doctor about the severity of your fears and the symptoms that you experience. Explain how you deal with it in an attempt to control it. An exam and a health history are made to ensure that there are no unrelated or underlying problems that your symptoms might mask. Usually, phobias like this are approached with a combination of psychotherapy and medication. Your doctor will talk about these options with you, and it's entirely up to you, with your doctor's recommendation, what you want to pursue. For psychotherapy, the most common type is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which aims to help you find different ways of behaving, thinking, and reacting when about to step inside an elevator or when already inside it. With medications, there are beta blockers and benzodiazepines, but note that these can have side effects. Whatever these side effects are, you should promptly share it with your doctor.

Simple Tips to Overcome Elevatophobia

Elevators are not perfect, but their likelihood to malfunction, fall, or get stuck is very low. If you are not fully confident with this information, you can help overcome your elevatophobia by learning common elevator safety tips and basic elevator operations. These should help curb your mild fear until you become more self-assured. In addition to that, here are some of the things that you can do to gradually overcome your fear of elevators—both in getting on and riding one.

Conclusion

Yes, elevatophobia can be a challenge in today's world, but don't allow the elevator to win. Don't let it stop you from taking a job on the top floor or attending a social gathering on the rooftop. Sure, you can take the stairs if you insist and arrive winded and sweaty, with the party about to wrap up. But is this the quality of life you seek? Elevators are designed to make life easier. There are guaranteed ways to help you overcome elevatophobia. Take the first step and seek help. Soon, you’ll see yourself breezing through the floors with those arduous stair climbs little more than a memory.
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