Skip to content Skip to sidebar Skip to footer
3K
3K
740
3K
Menu
Menu
static-img
The Fear of Marriage
Beliefs

Gamophobia – The Fear of Marriage

Share This Article
Share Post

Gamophobia – The Excessive Fear of Marriage

 

Do you get the feeling you’re not cut out for marriage?

Do you dread the thought of settling down with someone for a lifetime?

When a relationship becomes too intimate, do you find yourself seeking an escape hatch? Perhaps you avoid conversations about marriage or starting a family.

It’s not surprising that you want little to do with marriage. After all, given the rising divorce rates, it’s normal to have some doubts. However, an intense dread of marriage or commitment may be a sign of something more serious.

If your negative response to the idea of marriage has become excessive, you may have gamophobia. And the first step in addressing gamophobia is admitting you have it. This means acknowledging your fear of marriage.

Now, let’s discover its possible causes.

What Is Gamophobia?

Are you curious about the meaning of gamophobia?

Gamophobia, or the fear of commitment, is an irrational fear associated with marriage.

What do you fear if you have gamophobia? People with this phobia develop anxious thoughts when they think of marital relations or long-term relationships.

There is a type of mild anxiety that naturally occurs when people are preparing for marriage. But the fear of commitment is different than that. Though it’s normal to feel anxious while preparing to get married, the fear of marriage goes beyond a transitional fear.

Many have been robbed of relationships because they simply could not deal with the anxiety that arose from intimacy. Others simply can’t figure out why they dread settling down.

A hallmark of this phobia is a fear of the unknown. You may fear the outcome of your relationship. As with other similar phobias, you are overly concerned about what the future holds.

What Causes Gamophobia?

While it can be hard to define the leading cause of gamophobia, several factors may be attributed to what causes fear of marriage.

Fear of Commitment

Marriage involves some self-sacrifice and pain. It’s no wonder not everyone is willing to take on such a huge responsibility. Building and sustaining a life-lasting relationship requires devotion. It takes a lot to be intimate with another human being, possibly for the rest of your life.

Divorces and Separations in Society

The number of divorces and separations, and the devastation they leave behind, could be another cause. One could feel discouraged to put themselves in a situation where they may have to go through the same. This, however, doesn’t have to be the case for your relationship.

Unstable Family Background

Some develop the fear of marriage after observing their families, close relatives, and friends. Abusive relationships could also cause a fear of commitment. You could be thinking that your next relationship will be as traumatic as the ones you’ve witnessed.

Abusive Parents

Children who grew up with parents that abused each other emotionally and physically are likely to develop a fear of settling down. This is because children’s mindsets are shaped from a young age.

Fear of Loss and Abandonment

Some people develop trust issues after losing a loved one. Others may have been abandoned. If either scenario sounds familiar, you may come to dread getting into another relationship.

Are you afraid of loving too much because you don’t know how to deal with loss and grief? You may not trust anyone enough to stay for the long haul.

It’s natural to learn from past experiences. Life-changing events can leave a mark which may affect your decision-making.

What Are Gamophobia Symptoms?

If you have these marriage phobia symptoms, consider seeking a licensed mental health professional.

Mental/Emotional Symptoms

  • You dread relationships and commitments
  • You are embarrassed about the reason you are gamophobic
  • You are afraid of getting into relationships that could lead to marriage
  • You can acknowledge that the fear you have of getting married is needless
  • Your fear of marriage is out of your control

Physical Symptoms

  • Chest pains
  • Difficulty in breathing
  • Nausea
  • Headaches
  • Discomfort in the stomach
  • Sweating

How Do You Treat Gamophobia?

After establishing that you genuinely fear commitment, the next step is learning how to deal with it. In some cases, self-help methods are enough to allow you to adequately manage your fear.

Self-Help Techniques to Overcome the Fear of Marriage

Self-help treatment involves what you can do on your own to overcome the fear:

  • Acknowledge that there is a problem and you need help
  • Note and write down what precisely triggers the fear
  • Try spending time with happily married couples
  • If you are in a relationship, talk to your partner about your insecurities
  • Try to ignore all the negative patterns from your family or society

What if these actions fail to yield the desired results? Then it’s time to consult a mental health expert.

Getting Professional Help for Gamophobia

The fear of marriage could cost you happiness in life simply because you don’t know how to address it. Say for instance your parents were separated when you were young. That doesn’t mean you’ll automatically become like them. Seeking help from a professional will help you understand these dynamics.

Speak to a counselor about your fears. Don’t leave any detail out, no matter how small. The counselor is in a better position to understand your concerns and help you work through them.

Behavioral Therapy

Behavioral therapy involves a change of mindset and behaviors. It is administered by transitioning from one negative behavior to a positive one.

The first step consists of identifying the destructive behavior. Once you know, you can work towards change. This form of therapy takes time and calls for full participation from the person with gamophobia.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive behavioral therapy helps you unlearn harmful beliefs and practices you may have adopted. It requires daily activities and exposure to positivity. The therapist also facilitates discussions about what triggers your fear and what you can do in response.

Psychodynamic Therapy

They say that a problem shared is half solved. Psychodynamic therapy is administered through sharing your thoughts and sentiments freely. The person you will be speaking to will not be there to judge you.

Psychodynamic therapy involves talk sessions of individuals, couples, or groups. You will be required to share the phobia and how it came to be. You might realize that you are already getting rid of your fears just by speaking out.

Combined Therapy and Medication

There are certain medications your doctor may recommend for the physiological symptoms which arise from being gamophobic. While these medications may relieve such symptoms, you need psychological therapy to alter your perspectives on marriage. Keep in mind, medications may have undesirable side effects.

How Do You Overcome Gamophobia?

Based on the definition of gamophobia, you may have already determined that your fear is irrational. To overcome this phobia, it’s not enough to simply avoid marriage. Don’t let your fear of commitment lead you to choose a lonely life. Instead, try the treatments mentioned above. Your willingness to change will play the most significant role in your recovery.

Conclusion

While there are those who may choose never to marry, this choice should not be made out of fear. Make sure your choice is based on the right reasons. It may not be easy, but it’s worth it.

Stories Submitted by Our Readers

Fear of Marriage

I was dating my last boyfriend for five years. He started getting a bit serious talking about me meeting his family, how many children he wanted to have, and even took me house hunting. I ended the relationship. I just cannot handle thinking about marriage. I will not talk about marriage at all. I get sick to my stomach and my heart rate increases every time the subject is mentioned. I know I lost a good thing. He was perfect for me. He treated me with respect and as a lady. But I cannot handle the idea of marriage.

Kendra

I not only have a fear of marriage but of commitment. My problem is I just don’t know if I truly love them enough to stay with them for many years. Marriage is supposed to be “until death.” I just can’t handle that because I do not know if my love is strong enough. Every time things seem to be getting close, I call it off. Not sure if that is a fear of marriage or a fear of commitment. But my anxiety takes over when I get too close.

Paul

SUBMIT YOUR STORY

FearAZ.com is looking for personal stories of any 'fear of' or phobia. If you have an interesting story you'd like to share, we welcome your submission. If the story fits with our content and guidelines, we'll add it to our site.
0LikesShare Post

Your Fear Goes Up and Down

Are you someone who would rather climb the stairs than take the elevator? You call it squeezing in a workout after being sedentary the whole morning. Or perhaps you claim it's a faster route. These are both typical, normal, and acceptable reasons. But what if you need to be in the conference room on the eleventh floor in five minutes, and you're wearing your business suit and wingtips? Would you still prefer to take the stairs? If your answer is yes, then maybe it's time to take a closer look at your reasons for avoiding elevators. Elevators stir all sorts of emotions in passengers. From the discomfort of closeness to strangers to the sensations in our gut, elevators can be a source of the heebie-jeebies for many, but for some, they can also be a source of terror. Let's dig a little deeper into the latter, and see what this terror is all about and what can be done to manage it. To begin with, does being inside an elevator give you chills or the sweats? Or does it trigger an unpleasant memory? Perhaps you remember movies you've watched where something terrible happens inside an elevator. From Silence of the Lambs, The Shining, Final Destination 2, or the king of all elevator horror films, 2010’s Devil, the elevator becomes witness to something sinister and horrible. And you want nothing to do with any of it. You know that you're not claustrophobic. You can deal with heights just fine, too. And you know that you're not going to be trapped inside. All of these contribute to a fear of elevators—but they don't apply to you. Yet being inside one does something to you. It's hard to explain.

What is the Fear of Elevators Called?

What you have is a fear of elevators, which is called elevatophobia. It is most commonly triggered by an experience of getting stuck inside either due to a power outage or technical maintenance. Hearing about other people's experiences or watching a movie about similar circumstances can prompt a fear of elevators getting stuck with you inside. Usually, claustrophobics and agoraphobics may also develop elevatophobia because the triggers and objects of these fears are related. Claustrophobia is the fear of closed and cramped spaces, while agoraphobia is the fear of being trapped without any means of escape. Put the two together, and the elevator becomes the perfect combination of both phobias. The space is limited and closed, with only one means of entry and exit. You can add another point of access if you consider climbing the cables like they do in the movies, but that certainly isn't ideal.

Symptoms of Elevatophobia

If for some reason an elevator stops due to an outage or some technical difficulty, passengers with elevatophobia may go into full panic mode. Even if the maintenance team advises that it will just be a matter of minutes, by then, the person's mind has become irrational with the fear of the elevator falling, being stuck for hours, or other unpleasant thoughts. You would expect a person to exhibit the following physical symptoms: Additionally, you would be filled with that overwhelming anxiety where you feel that you have zero control over the situation. You start fearing the unknown and are filled with negative thoughts about death and imminent doom. You become irrational and unresponsive.

Possible Complications of Elevatophobia

When the panic sets in, the possibility of emergencies related to pre-existing conditions may make themselves known. This might include serious health crises like heart attacks or asthma attacks. When this happens, fear becomes a medical emergency. Elevator rides do not last long; it's just a matter of minutes or even less. But the fact that a person can escalate from panic to a near fatal medical situation classifies the fear of elevators as a 'hard phobia.'

Trying Some Self-Help Methods

Your fear of elevators can likely interfere with your social and work life and relationships. Not everyone understands that elevatophobia, like most phobias, can be crippling. But don't be disheartened. Depending on the level of your fear and level of control, you can gradually face and manage your phobia. Here are some recommendations you can try:
  1. Make a List of Everything that Entails Riding in an Elevator This is a systematic approach to getting over your anxiety. By following a step-by-step process, you can identify where the fear kicks in at its strongest. You can write a list of steps like pressing the topmost button and waiting to arrive on that floor, watching as the door closes and opens, being alone inside the elevator, or having delays with the doors opening. Now try doing the opposite. For example, face away from the door or occupy yourself with your phone so that you are distracted.
  2. Create Your Fear Ladder Although the name says fear of elevators, it is not the whole process that scares you. There are just phases and parts of the elevator riding experience that cause you to panic. So go back to the list you initially created and label the fear level you feel. You can do it numerically, too, like ten being 'really scary,' six, 'manageable scary,' and one, 'not scary at all.' You can put the corresponding fear levels so you can focus more time and effort into activities that are more scary to you.
  3. Face Your Fear By now, you have identified what scares you the most. You can try repetitive action to minimize your fear and increase your sense of ‘normalcy’. Remember that the longer you expose yourself to your fear, the better you get at handling your emotions. If you are feeling overwhelmed, stop. Pushing yourself too fast and too soon can backfire. Modify your pace and go slower instead.
  4. Talk About Your Fear People by nature, unfortunately, are not quick to offer understanding and support. You need to tell them what's wrong before they can empathize. Talk to someone who you trust and ask for their support, especially in the initial phase of overcoming your fear. If you are too afraid to ride the elevator alone, you can ask them to go with you, and before you realize it, you are on your floor, and there was no indication of panic.
  5. Learn To Be Patient Be patient with yourself and your predicament. This is, after all, your fight against fear. It might take hundreds of elevator ride practices before the fear gets under control. Even then, there might be some hesitations and episodes of nervousness. These are acceptable and expected, so cut yourself some slack and congratulate yourself for every progress.

Seeking Professional Help

Along with self-help, you can always enlist a medical professional's aid to support you with your elevatophobia. Talking to someone who has experience with similar cases can be comforting, because you know that you are not alone, and this situation can get better. Talk to your doctor about the severity of your fears and the symptoms that you experience. Explain how you deal with it in an attempt to control it. An exam and a health history are made to ensure that there are no unrelated or underlying problems that your symptoms might mask. Usually, phobias like this are approached with a combination of psychotherapy and medication. Your doctor will talk about these options with you, and it's entirely up to you, with your doctor's recommendation, what you want to pursue. For psychotherapy, the most common type is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which aims to help you find different ways of behaving, thinking, and reacting when about to step inside an elevator or when already inside it. With medications, there are beta blockers and benzodiazepines, but note that these can have side effects. Whatever these side effects are, you should promptly share it with your doctor.

Simple Tips to Overcome Elevatophobia

Elevators are not perfect, but their likelihood to malfunction, fall, or get stuck is very low. If you are not fully confident with this information, you can help overcome your elevatophobia by learning common elevator safety tips and basic elevator operations. These should help curb your mild fear until you become more self-assured. In addition to that, here are some of the things that you can do to gradually overcome your fear of elevators—both in getting on and riding one.

Conclusion

Yes, elevatophobia can be a challenge in today's world, but don't allow the elevator to win. Don't let it stop you from taking a job on the top floor or attending a social gathering on the rooftop. Sure, you can take the stairs if you insist and arrive winded and sweaty, with the party about to wrap up. But is this the quality of life you seek? Elevators are designed to make life easier. There are guaranteed ways to help you overcome elevatophobia. Take the first step and seek help. Soon, you’ll see yourself breezing through the floors with those arduous stair climbs little more than a memory.
This Pop-up Is Included in the Theme
Best Choice for Creatives
Purchase Now