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Situational Phobias

Fear of Being Forgotten – Athazagoraphobia

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What to Remember When Confronting the Fear of Being Forgotten: Athazagoraphobia

Mortality is at the center of human experience, and so it’s only natural that the fear of being forgotten after death and the desire to be remembered looms large as well. But too much of anything can be problematic.

Do you find yourself pondering if you will be remembered, to the point of worry?

Do you sweat, shake, or have an increase in heart rate? Do you experience a tightening of the chest and possibly some nausea?

This may be the beginnings of the excessive fear of being forgotten, or the technically named athazagoraphobia. Please read on and we will try our best to help. Hopefully, you will get past this fear or at least learn how to manage it.

Memory is the one link we have to tie us to the past, be it yesterday or thousands of years ago. Being forgotten can feel like that thread has been cut, and you yourself have been cut off from those you love most.

There are many ways mankind can be remembered: art, community, science, religion, and even infamy.

The fact is the majority of us will not be remembered except by loved ones and friends.

But what is the fear of being forgotten, and what should you remember about how to conquer it? Should you spend your life worrying about what will happen when you are gone?

What Is Athazagoraphobia?

To be fair, it’s natural to want to be remembered. Death is permanent and can seem scary, and at least by being remembered, we can imagine we live on in some way.

However, when this fear is so overwhelming that it starts to interfere with your life, it can morph into a full-blown phobia, known as athazagoraphobia. However, the full definition of athazagoraphobia doesn’t link it exclusively to death, but rather simply fearing being forgotten under any circumstances. While death is obviously the most obvious and severe example, it can also cover being forgotten or ignored.

As with most phobias, for those suffering from athazagoraphobia, meaning is key. Those suffering from athazagoraphobia can often link its onset to a specific instance of having been forgotten. Maybe you were forgotten or abandoned briefly or permanently as a child, putting you in a state of isolation or danger, and it’s left you with a lingering fear of something like that happening to you ever since.

However, it can also cover a fear of forgetting yourself. For example, both patients with Alzheimer’s and family members can develop forms of this phobia, with both parties fearing they’ll forget or be forgotten by those they love most. While the DSM-5 does not currently list athazagoraphobia as a specific phobia, with it instead falling under the umbrella of the myriad social phobias it covers, studies have nevertheless demonstrated this link between Alzheimer’s and a fear of memory loss or being forgotten.

Symptoms of Athazagoraphobia

Because it is classified as a social phobia, you’ll find a lot of overlap between athazagoraphobia symptoms and those of other social phobias.

Among the most common symptoms for these phobias include:

  • Aches and pains
  • Chest pain
  • Elevated heart rate
  • High blood pressure
  • Depression
  • Intense nervousness
  • Sweating
  • Nausea
  • Dizziness and/or fainting
  • Hot or cold flashes
  • Panic attacks
  • Intentionally avoiding social situations
  • An inability to focus or concentrate

Given the nature of this phobia, isolation and mood swings are two symptoms to watch for when diagnosing athazagoraphobia. Those dealing with this condition often self-isolate rather than confront being forgotten. However, one of the big problems with diagnosing athazagoraphobia is that, death aside, it can be hard to determine when you or someone you care about might be “forgotten” or if someone is “forgetting” you. Everyone forgets things and people from time to time, but that isn’t the same as being “forgotten” forever or being “ignored” or “abandoned.” Talking through these feelings with a therapist can help determine how well-founded your fear is, which can then help you determine how best to resolve your phobia.

Self-Help Treatments for Athazagoraphobia

Before we get to how professionals may be able to help you, however, let’s first look at ways you can help yourself. One of the “good” things about athazagoraphobia as a phobia is the fact that there are many self-treatment options that can help put your fears at ease.

For example, you might consider yoga. The exercise combined with meditation and deep breathing exercises can help you calm your nerves, clear your mind, and give you a stronger sense of focus. Once you have done that, you can view your state of affairs more clearly, which in turn can give you a better idea as to how to confront your fears. Some also find aromatherapy helpful, or combine the two by using scented candles during their meditation and yoga exercises.

A balanced diet can also help. Caffeine can leave people jittery when consumed in high quantities, and greasy and fatty foods can also leave you unsettled, both of which can make social phobias even worse.

One of the most intriguing self-help prospects is that of keeping a journal of your thoughts. This can help in several ways, not the least of which being that it can help you get out your emotions, which can also give you ideas as to how to confront them. Helping you with that can be a support system.

Finally, you’ll want to do whatever you can to avoid triggers of your athazagoraphobia. This can include avoiding things that remind you of times when you were forgotten or abandoned, or avoiding looking at articles talking about memory loss.

Professional Options for Athazagoraphobia

In rare cases, antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs may be prescribed. That said, any medication you take will have side effects, and so it’s best to avoid them if possible. Instead, sessions with therapists and support groups are often preferred.

If you do decide that you want or need professional help, having performed those self-help practices can make their task in helping you easier. For example, journaling your feelings can give your therapist more information with which to work with when helping you work through your emotions.

 

Support groups can be helpful because they give you the opportunity to speak to people who have had similar fears or experiences. Not only can this help it feel more like you’re speaking to someone who will “understand,” support groups can also provide a sense of community.

If you fear being forgotten or isolated from others, gaining new friends and helping them as they help you can be a powerful medication-free way to counteract athazagoraphobia.

The question of how to overcome athazagoraphobia is one you’ll have to confront yourself. For some, calming meditation, constructive acts such as journaling or creating art, and other activities can help calm their nerves. For others, externalizing their feelings by talking to others is a huge help. Having a support system is essential. Since your great fear is being forgotten, it’s good to have reminders that people do indeed remember and care about you.

Toward the end of his life, Orson Welles said “We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone.” To those who fear athazagoraphobia, such a quote can seem to confirm their greatest fears, until you hear the next part: “Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” For as horrible as Alzheimer’s, dementia, and conditions like them can be, you should not let your fear of being forgotten prevent you from living a life worth remembering.

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Your Fear Goes Up and Down

Are you someone who would rather climb the stairs than take the elevator? You call it squeezing in a workout after being sedentary the whole morning. Or perhaps you claim it's a faster route. These are both typical, normal, and acceptable reasons. But what if you need to be in the conference room on the eleventh floor in five minutes, and you're wearing your business suit and wingtips? Would you still prefer to take the stairs? If your answer is yes, then maybe it's time to take a closer look at your reasons for avoiding elevators. Elevators stir all sorts of emotions in passengers. From the discomfort of closeness to strangers to the sensations in our gut, elevators can be a source of the heebie-jeebies for many, but for some, they can also be a source of terror. Let's dig a little deeper into the latter, and see what this terror is all about and what can be done to manage it. To begin with, does being inside an elevator give you chills or the sweats? Or does it trigger an unpleasant memory? Perhaps you remember movies you've watched where something terrible happens inside an elevator. From Silence of the Lambs, The Shining, Final Destination 2, or the king of all elevator horror films, 2010’s Devil, the elevator becomes witness to something sinister and horrible. And you want nothing to do with any of it. You know that you're not claustrophobic. You can deal with heights just fine, too. And you know that you're not going to be trapped inside. All of these contribute to a fear of elevators—but they don't apply to you. Yet being inside one does something to you. It's hard to explain.

What is the Fear of Elevators Called?

What you have is a fear of elevators, which is called elevatophobia. It is most commonly triggered by an experience of getting stuck inside either due to a power outage or technical maintenance. Hearing about other people's experiences or watching a movie about similar circumstances can prompt a fear of elevators getting stuck with you inside. Usually, claustrophobics and agoraphobics may also develop elevatophobia because the triggers and objects of these fears are related. Claustrophobia is the fear of closed and cramped spaces, while agoraphobia is the fear of being trapped without any means of escape. Put the two together, and the elevator becomes the perfect combination of both phobias. The space is limited and closed, with only one means of entry and exit. You can add another point of access if you consider climbing the cables like they do in the movies, but that certainly isn't ideal.

Symptoms of Elevatophobia

If for some reason an elevator stops due to an outage or some technical difficulty, passengers with elevatophobia may go into full panic mode. Even if the maintenance team advises that it will just be a matter of minutes, by then, the person's mind has become irrational with the fear of the elevator falling, being stuck for hours, or other unpleasant thoughts. You would expect a person to exhibit the following physical symptoms: Additionally, you would be filled with that overwhelming anxiety where you feel that you have zero control over the situation. You start fearing the unknown and are filled with negative thoughts about death and imminent doom. You become irrational and unresponsive.

Possible Complications of Elevatophobia

When the panic sets in, the possibility of emergencies related to pre-existing conditions may make themselves known. This might include serious health crises like heart attacks or asthma attacks. When this happens, fear becomes a medical emergency. Elevator rides do not last long; it's just a matter of minutes or even less. But the fact that a person can escalate from panic to a near fatal medical situation classifies the fear of elevators as a 'hard phobia.'

Trying Some Self-Help Methods

Your fear of elevators can likely interfere with your social and work life and relationships. Not everyone understands that elevatophobia, like most phobias, can be crippling. But don't be disheartened. Depending on the level of your fear and level of control, you can gradually face and manage your phobia. Here are some recommendations you can try:
  1. Make a List of Everything that Entails Riding in an Elevator This is a systematic approach to getting over your anxiety. By following a step-by-step process, you can identify where the fear kicks in at its strongest. You can write a list of steps like pressing the topmost button and waiting to arrive on that floor, watching as the door closes and opens, being alone inside the elevator, or having delays with the doors opening. Now try doing the opposite. For example, face away from the door or occupy yourself with your phone so that you are distracted.
  2. Create Your Fear Ladder Although the name says fear of elevators, it is not the whole process that scares you. There are just phases and parts of the elevator riding experience that cause you to panic. So go back to the list you initially created and label the fear level you feel. You can do it numerically, too, like ten being 'really scary,' six, 'manageable scary,' and one, 'not scary at all.' You can put the corresponding fear levels so you can focus more time and effort into activities that are more scary to you.
  3. Face Your Fear By now, you have identified what scares you the most. You can try repetitive action to minimize your fear and increase your sense of ‘normalcy’. Remember that the longer you expose yourself to your fear, the better you get at handling your emotions. If you are feeling overwhelmed, stop. Pushing yourself too fast and too soon can backfire. Modify your pace and go slower instead.
  4. Talk About Your Fear People by nature, unfortunately, are not quick to offer understanding and support. You need to tell them what's wrong before they can empathize. Talk to someone who you trust and ask for their support, especially in the initial phase of overcoming your fear. If you are too afraid to ride the elevator alone, you can ask them to go with you, and before you realize it, you are on your floor, and there was no indication of panic.
  5. Learn To Be Patient Be patient with yourself and your predicament. This is, after all, your fight against fear. It might take hundreds of elevator ride practices before the fear gets under control. Even then, there might be some hesitations and episodes of nervousness. These are acceptable and expected, so cut yourself some slack and congratulate yourself for every progress.

Seeking Professional Help

Along with self-help, you can always enlist a medical professional's aid to support you with your elevatophobia. Talking to someone who has experience with similar cases can be comforting, because you know that you are not alone, and this situation can get better. Talk to your doctor about the severity of your fears and the symptoms that you experience. Explain how you deal with it in an attempt to control it. An exam and a health history are made to ensure that there are no unrelated or underlying problems that your symptoms might mask. Usually, phobias like this are approached with a combination of psychotherapy and medication. Your doctor will talk about these options with you, and it's entirely up to you, with your doctor's recommendation, what you want to pursue. For psychotherapy, the most common type is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which aims to help you find different ways of behaving, thinking, and reacting when about to step inside an elevator or when already inside it. With medications, there are beta blockers and benzodiazepines, but note that these can have side effects. Whatever these side effects are, you should promptly share it with your doctor.

Simple Tips to Overcome Elevatophobia

Elevators are not perfect, but their likelihood to malfunction, fall, or get stuck is very low. If you are not fully confident with this information, you can help overcome your elevatophobia by learning common elevator safety tips and basic elevator operations. These should help curb your mild fear until you become more self-assured. In addition to that, here are some of the things that you can do to gradually overcome your fear of elevators—both in getting on and riding one.

Conclusion

Yes, elevatophobia can be a challenge in today's world, but don't allow the elevator to win. Don't let it stop you from taking a job on the top floor or attending a social gathering on the rooftop. Sure, you can take the stairs if you insist and arrive winded and sweaty, with the party about to wrap up. But is this the quality of life you seek? Elevators are designed to make life easier. There are guaranteed ways to help you overcome elevatophobia. Take the first step and seek help. Soon, you’ll see yourself breezing through the floors with those arduous stair climbs little more than a memory.
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